The start...

Hello and welcome to my story. I'm going to start by introducing myself and letting you know how I got to where I am right now.

I've been overweight my entire adult life. As a teen I was a competitive roller skater, and stayed in pretty good shape....weighing around 140 lbs. I was very active but had horrible eating habits. I wasn't raised on a balanced diet. The only reason I wasn't large at that time was because of the extraordinary amount of physical exercise I did as a skater.

The year I got married, I gained 40 lbs. almost immediately, so fast, in fact that I developed quite a few stretch marks. It puzzled me at the time...why this was happening. I had never really struggled with my weight and was confused as to why it was coming on so fast.

After my marriage I stopped skating, started work as a Secretary where I sat for 8 hours a day and no longer had time for the gym. I cooked huge meals (just like my mom did) not realizing I was serving enough on mine and my husband's plate to feed 3 people each. Needless to say, over time, I continued to gain weight. The little bit of exercise I would do to try to lose weight was futile because I wasn't adjusting my portion sizes. I thought the exercise alone would do the trick and was frustrated and annoyed by the whole process.

Add to this a very stressful marriage, a husband who wanted very much for me to lose weight because he was worried about his own image and how my poor physique reflected on him (his actual words). 13 years later we divorced...he left me for a 22 year old, skinny trophy type who he married and is extremely proud of. I didn't know it at the time, but it was the best gift anyone could have ever given me....in the end he ended up giving me back my life. Without knowing it I surrendered everything that I was and catered to him and his needs. It was a good experience in that I learned so much about what NOT taking care of your own needs will end up doing to you.

My husband's infidelity and my feelings of failure put me into a state of depression I feared I might never get out of. After 5 long years of therapy and a lot of hard work, I emerged....just as a beautiful butterfly emerges from what seems like certain death. I stayed single for 7 years, dating off and on and learning alot about men and how full of sh*t they can be. And, during that time, I tried many attempts at weight loss. Weight Watchers, Body for Life, Atkins, Calorie Counting, Vegan, etc. I was in my 3rd attempt at doing Body For Life when I decided to post vlogs on YouTube. I discovered a small group of BFLers who became my support system.

I met my current husband about that time, and my mother became ill as well. This changed my life completely. I decided to move back to my hometown to be closer to my mother and about a year and a half later got married. My weight loss efforts took a backseat, with a couple of meager trys in that time period. Something pretty significant changed in that year and a half. I was with a man who accepted, and completely loved, me just as I was. There was no pressure to lose weight from him. There were no strings attached. It was amazing how liberating that was. I not only had a wonderful relationship with an amazing man, but I was still able to grow the individual person I was, am and will be. This opened a whole new way of seeing weight loss and health. It was no longer a neccessity for being accepted. It was my choice. MY choice.

I decided to take a good long look at how I was approaching weight loss, what worked in the past and why, what didn't and why not. After alot of research, trying some different methods and testing theories I came up with what I currently do now and have been very successful with so far. I am very excited about my journey ahead and have been amazed at how much has changed already. I want to use this blog to write my story...to talk about what lies ahead.

The method I am currently using to find my way back to good health is multi-faceted but simple in my mind. I eat clean. Which means my diet consists of "mostly" whole, unprocessed, natural, and as organic as possible, foods. I eat 5 to 6 small meals per day and am careful to limit sugars in all forms, organic or not. I eat mainly lean protein, whole grains/breads, fruit and vegetables and healthy oils. I started doing this and in one month lost about 2.8 pounds. Not bad, but felt .....slow. So I took a look at what I was doing and realized my portion sizes were pretty big. I was raised on large portions...that felt very normal to me. So, I decided to add Weight Watchers to my plan for better portion control. I still eat clean and adhere to my original diet, but now I assign points to all those foods and stay within my points range. I've lost another 15.4 pounds in the past 5 weeks....clearly adding Weight Watchers to my plan is working beautifully. I do have an treats but it's very occassional and I am very careful about the quality of the treat and still stay within my points range. Recently I've been increasing my activity, to include brisk walking, step aerobics and smaller break time walks and trips up and down our 3 flights of stairs at work. I also do isometric exercises while sitting at my desk doing data entry and anytime I'm by myself in the elevator I do tow raises or squats. I stretch and do a fair amount of floorwork at home as well. I don't have a set routine that I have to perform daily or weekly, I just simply find time in my day to get something in if I can.

I surround myself with support. I vlog on YouTube with The Weight Loss Diaries and I have a personal channel as well. I post on The Weight Loss Diaries Facebook page, blog on my Myspace Page and share my journey with all my family and friends. I stay accountable, willingly. I want to succeed and I give myself every opportunity to do so.

The other wonderful women I vlog with on The Weight Loss Diaries are a huge inspiration to me and we are all working toward a common goal, which unites us. We have decided to have a "meet-n-greet in 18 months (from July 2009) to celebrate our achievements. That gives us 18 months to reach toward our goals and possibly attain them. For me that means a 5.5 lb. loss every month until December 2010. What a wonderful way to ring in the new year ~ This has served as a catalyst for me. Dangling that huge carrot out in front of me like that has ignited a fire in me like I've never experienced. I'm hell bent on changing and achieving that goal. There is no looking back. There is no going back. Only forward....I want MORE. I will have more. This is the beginning of my story....

Before....260.8 lbs.