This is my "diary" for the purposes of my journey to losing 100 pounds. I'm going to write about my experience, post progress, talk about frustrations and document what happens to someone who has decided to change their life and lose 100 pounds.
As January closes and February begins, I'm looking forward to a better weight loss month ahead. Today was a great day though. I focused on just staying within my points and did a grocery haul. I forgot, of course to take photos of my grocery haul, before I put it all away but I can list what I bought:
Some of this will last 2 weeks, most of it only 1 week. I already had meats in the freezer so I didn't have to buy any of that this time. My husband and I eat the same foods...so I buy quite a bit as he's a big eater. It's expensive but our health is important to us so we don't mind cutting back in other areas.
The only thing I didn't do today was move. I didn't exercise. I am exhausted and I'm just not going to do it tonight. In fact, I'm going to load up a couple of pics to this blog and hit my pillow! (I'm having some work issues and fighting a bit of depression...so I haven't been as motivated as I was the last 7 months....but I'm working on it.)
This pic is of my lunch...ground turkey seasoned with onion powder and garlic salt on an ezekiel tortilla with sliced cremini mushrooms sauted in olive oil. I love cremini mushrooms! They have a milk buttery flavor to them when they are sauted. And, a picture of my Acorn Squash I ate earlier in the day. I have mixed in some vanilla soy milk, a 1/2 tsp of sucanat and some pumpkin pie spice...one of my favorite winter veggies!
I'm looking forward to trying some new recipes I got off YouTube this week. Oh, if you're a YouTuber I vlog there on two different channels. One is TheWeightLossDiaries and the other is my personal channel deniseolmstead.
My week is gaining momentum and it's only Sunday. I'm exploring the idea of journaling a "summary" of my day each day and then recapping each day's summary on video at the end of the week. Maybe I should keep track of my daily summaries via BlogSpot? hmmm... I got the idea from a series on YouTube called Road 2 Resolutions, where two avid Weight Loss Community members are checking in daily throughout their week to help keep one another accountable. I am considering trying to find a "buddy" to do this with, but it is difficult to find people who are committed and consistent...plus that would be taking on a whole extra layer of responsibility that I'm not entirely sure I have the time for. So, right now, I'm just playing with the idea and we'll see what happens. I feel like I could use the shot in the arm though and just by thinking about this my resolves and focus has improved immensely. Things have a way of getting old and mundane...sometimes I need a shot in the arm to keep it interesting.
Today I'm headed to the skating rink for some much needed cardio and it happens to be a sweet little girl's 4th birthday party at the same time so I will get to see some friends and hang out for a bit of socializing! I'm excited!
I just got back from the gym and I feel exhausted! I worked out really hard...upper body ~ chest, shoulders and triceps. I feel good...it was a nice workout...I felt strong.
We walked home and I walked half way there and I walked at lunch....my hips actually hurt! lol That's alot of walking...I live on the edge of town so getting anywhere is about a 40 minute brisk walk.
My trip to the gym tonight was good in more ways than one. Prior to leaving for the gym I was watching the news...the news about the earthquake in Haiti. I felt an overwhelming sadness and uncertainty come over me. I feel for those people so much. And, in addition to the immense sadness for them, it makes me worry about me, my loved ones and what I would do if I found myself in a similar situation. It made me feel very unsettled. It was nice to go to the gym and remember that life is good...money is tight, but I eat well and have a gym membership...I'm completely in love and have the most amazing family and friends. Life is good and we are safe and warm and surviving...more than surviving...truly living. I won't take it for granted...I'll remember that there are others far less fortunate and I should be very grateful for all I have.
While I was pushing my body through a tough workout ~ I kept this in mind and it brought me back into my life again. The last time I felt this was during 9-11. The other thing that helped was just being around my husband and chatting with him...he made me feel so much better. I know this crisis in Haiti is not about me...not at all. I'm just saying it makes you stop and take stock...be grateful and even humbled.
I've had a very good day. Today was full of focus. I have cleaned my house...which always sets me in the mood for getting things done. I'm baking chicken and just finished my workout. A little later, after dinner I'll do some ab work too. I'm sipping a cup of de-caf coffee and watching House Hunters on HGTV. My husband is next door practicing. He's a drummer for a band he and his brother put together. They just finished recording their first album.
This week my focus is back to basics. Last week I didn't track on the Weight Watchers website at all. I wanted to try to figure out if I was ready to sort of ween off of it. By Wednesday I was up another pound. I started tracking again and dropped that pound by Saturday. I'll stick to the basics and keep tracking. I am horrible at gauging my food and portions unless I'm keeping track in some way. I'm ok with that, since I see some pretty good results from it. I would prefer to just know how to gauge it on my own, but perhaps that will come with time??
We'll see how this week goes but I may have to decrease my coffee consumption. Right now it's my one little luxury, but since replacing Stevia with brown sugar, the calories add up quickly. We'll see...I'm trying to keep it to 2 cups during the weekdays per day. One would be better, but I'm going to "baby step" it. On some days I was getting 4 cups in and that's just too much. And, right now I'm on my 4th cup for today. I really want to cut that down, especially during the weekdays.
This week I'm going to hit the gym HARD. I'm in the mood for it and want to see what results I can gain. I did a great leg workout on Friday and it felt so good! Today was Cardio and Abs. Tomorrow will be an upper body workout, Back and Biceps. I'm ready a magazine called Muscle & Fitness Hers and I'm going to try out some of the routines.
Okay...I'm extremely pissed off right now. I was feeling all sorry for myself and dissappointed because I gained 3 lbs. over xmas week and then it looks like I'll have gained another 1 lb. on Saturday's weigh-in.
ALLLL the old familiar pity party fun has been present. Beating myself up, using EVERYTHING as an excuse...not even caring about what JUNK I've been putting in my mouth and LOTS and LOTS of hiding behind the comfort of old familiar habits. God dammit!
THIS is MY YEAR!!! 2010 is the year I find out what my true potential is...it's the year I find out how good it can get...how much I can transform and change and improve. And you know what? I'm not doing this anymore....NO! Not this time.
This isn't about eating taboo foods over Christmas, it's not about overeating since Christmas...it's not even about control, or lack thereof. It's about FEAR! Fear of success...fear of letting others down...fear of the unknown...fear of being the weak, can't-do-it Fat Girl in the end no matter what. No matter how much I prove otherwise. Well FUCK THAT! I'm NOT going to let this dominate me. I'm not going to give in to this VERY familiar saboteur.
Just prior to Christmas I was getting alot of people asking me for my help. For some reason I started to feel a tremendous amount of pressure to keep my progress up because I had to be a certain way for them now. I had to be a mentor, teacher, perfect, the girl with all the answers, the guru. It all of a sudden became about everyone else's expectations of me and I lost it...I lost my focus on me. I started freaking out about this outside pressure that just sort of cropped up all at one time, probably because everyone is focused now that it's the new year.
I am done with this. I am NOT going to let all my hard work...my DAMN hard work, be all for nothing. And, I do want to help people, but it can't be at the expense of losing my own focus. I don't have to be the guru...the girl with all the answers...the keeper of everyone else's success...or RESPONSIBLE for whether or not they excel or succeed. I don't have to own any of that, and I won't. NO, not this time. I've been down that road before and it's a big FAT DEAD END.
I want More. I want it more than anything else in the world. I want MORE! I want the opportunity to live with MORE. More life...more vivid, outstanding, breathtaking life. I want it and there is NO way I'm letting fear fuck that up. NO way. No more. Never again.
So, get the fuck out of my way Fear...because you have NO place in my life anymore. I'm no longer your bitch. You can't have my life...it's mine now. It's mine and I'm going to make it MORE than it's ever been before.
I lost 52 lbs. from June to Dec. in 2009.
Now it's 2010...and you ain't seen nothin yet!! ;)
The emphasis is on whole, fresh, organic, clean foods (meaning as little processed and artificial foods as possible). I found the most useful books to get this information from was The Eat-Clean Diet by Tosca Reno (I’m now reading her Eat Clean Diet Recharged! Book and I LOVE IT!) and Body For Life by Bill Phillips. In addition to this I am a Weight Watchers member and I keep my portions under control by following the points system in addition to eating clean. So, I eat clean first and then apply points to be sure my portions are correct. The more active I am the more I use the flex and activity points fully. I let my body guide me in terms of hunger and energy. You shouldn’t be physically hungry unless it’s just before your next meal time.
I eat 5 - 6 small meals per day spaced 2 to 3-3.5 hours apart (I try not to exceed 4 hours)
I eat a protein, complex carb and fruit or veggie with each meal. I limit complex carbs at night and try to eat my last meal of the day at least 2 hours before I go to bed.
Typical foods I eat:
Chicken tenders - free range when possible
Fish - tilapia, tuna, cod
Lean pork loin roast
Lean ground turkey
Turkey breast roasted
Lean cuts of steak
Hard boiled eggs/egg whites
Scrambled eggs/egg white combo
Omelets
Non-fat Maple Greek Organic yogurt
2% swiss or provolone occasionally
Non-fat sour cream
Protein powder
Soy Milk
Natural Organic Peanut Butter
Almonds
Sunflower Seeds
Vegan Boca Burgers ( I love these!!)
(My favorite is organic blueberries!They have such great flavor compared to regular berries!)
Spinach, Chard, Artichokes, Squash, Zucchini, Onions, Carrots, Cherry or Grape Tomatoes, Cucumbers, etc.
(Acorn squash is new for me, I bake it, then mix a little soy milk, small amount of brown sugar and pumpkin pie spice into it…delish!)
All fruits and vegetables are organic, the flavor is much better and I believe the nutrients are as well.
Oatmeal, Brown Rice Cereal, Brown Rice Pasta, Whole Wheat Pasta, Ezekiel Bread, Organic low cal whole wheat bread, Organic corn tortillas, Wild Rice, Brown Rice, Sweet Potatoes, Flax Seed, Wheat Germ, Bee Pollen.
Other things I use:
half n half, organic brown sugar or sucanat, spices, olive & canola oil, real butter, garlic, low sodium soy sauce, spice packets and marinades that are organic or don’t have additives in them, dark chocolate, coffee, teas, organic low cal mayo, mustard, organic pasta sauces measured in small amounts, pure vanilla.
Sample of a typical Day:
Meal 1: ½ cup oats, splash of soymilk, sprinkle of brown sugar, pumpkin pie spice,
flax/wheatgerm/bee pollen mix and ¼ - ½ cup blueberries
3-5 egg whites, water and vitamins.3.5 to 4 points
Coffee with 1 tsp brown sugar and half and half .
1.5 points
Meal 2: Shredded left over chicken in 2 small corn tortillas with ¼ avocado spread on each, stuffed with spinach. Handful of grape tomatoes, 1 small orange, water.6 points
Meal 3: ½ cup nonfat organic maple greek yogurt with flax/wheat germ/bee pollen mix, ½ banana, 3 egg whites, water or tea.4 points
Meal 4: Apple with natural peanut butter and I might snag a chicken tender (small piece) from leftovers.5-6 points
Meal 5: ½ cup whole wheat pasta, 1 TBS organic alfredo sauce, 1 portion of ground turkey sauted in canola oil, green beans and a few grape tomatoes.7-8 points
Meal 6: 1 egg, 2 whites, ½ banana (if I’m staying up late and it’s been 2-3 hours since my last meal but 2 hours before bed still…)3.5 points
My points value is 25 per day…this meal is 32 points. I use flex and activity points throughout my week ever since I started working out with weights. I need the fuel, I listen to my body and feed it accordingly. Points help me track individual portions better. When I was just eating clean, I’d eat way too much. For some reason this combination works for me very well. I don’t stress over rules. If I want a piece of dark chocolate I’ll have one as long as I haven’t already had 4 in the day…I limit it to one square of a whole bar once a day or spread it out about one every 3 days if I’m just not in the mood for it every day. I listen to my body.
In clean eating you don’t use as much brown sugar as I do or half n half…but this plan is customized to me. My consumption of those things are small and my losses are still good and it makes eating this way more livable for me. Could I add a bag of potato chips daily? Maybe…but I would never do that because nutritionally it’s junk…processed, high fat, salty. No, thanks, I’ll take my less destructive coffee with half n half and brown sugar. I make my own rules up, but I pay attention to the Quality of my foods and watch my pitfalls (baked goods, high fat foods) and I don’t sabotage myself or live in denial about how a donut just doesn’t fit into my plan, but a small amount of dark chocolate does. Dark chocolate doesn’t cause my sugar cravings to go nuts and dark chocolate has some health properties to it that I like. I listen to my body and don’t eat what doesn’t agree with it or that I know full well is bad for it.
For me this is not a diet…this is how I live, how I eat and I don’t feel like I’m on a diet. I feel like I am making very serious choices about the care of my body and I take it very seriously now. I don’t poo-poo a cookie here or slice of cake there or a binge episode of KFC…I don’t go and eat those things and then either ignore it or make an excuse for why it was ok to eat it “that one time”. It’s not okay…so I either don’t do it or I do it and understand that my body will suffer for it, I will likely not see the results I want and it didn’t happen to me because I had a bad hair day, or cuz I was sick or cuz I’m stressed at work…I chose the action and suffered the consequences…and sometimes I do that. Like on Thanksgiving or Christmas or during vacation. Or sometimes I just really want something and if I can’t fit it into my plan then I weigh the consequences…if I indulge in a butterfinger bar right now…is it worth not seeing my best possible result at the end of the week. If it is, then I eat it…sometimes I eat it and then I work out more to make up for it or sometimes I choose not to eat it at all. Most of the time it’s a no brainer and I don’t eat it. I don’t want to get caught up in the unhealthy cycle of exercising in order to reverse bad food choices. That’s a lot of running in place in my opinion.
Exercise:
I find that if I stay active throughout my day it helps me have more energy in my day, digest my food better and keeps me motivated. I look for opportunities to get activity or stretching in throughout my whole day.
I start out my week packing a cooler to take to work (or packing my backpack if riding my bike to work) with a week’s worth of staple foods. I cook hard boiled eggs, and some other protein source like chicken or turkey or fish on Sunday night. I walk to the bus stop.
At work I make breakfast and head to my desk.
On my break I take the stairs up to the breakroom and go up and down a few extra times (I work in a 3 story building so I go up and down 3 flights 3-5 times…then I head to the kitchen for my coffee and then sit in the women’s lounge, kick my shoes off and do some floor stretches while I sip on my coffee. I take my coffee downstairs with me and finish it at my desk.
At lunch I head back up to the break room, taking the stairs (just once this time) and make my lunch, eat it, drink my water and then head out for a 30 minute power walk.
I take another break in the afternoon and my husband and I walk around the downtown area together. I also eat my next meal at this time or just before or just after our walk.
If it’s not raining and I’ve ridden my bike I will ride home. If I’ve taken the bus (in the winter it’s too cold to ride even when it’s not raining) I will often walk home.
Once home I eat my next meal and change into gym clothes. I do chores, check emails, get online and then grab my gym key and head to the bus stop. I take the bus to my husband’s work and we walk to the gym together. We workout - I usually do 20 minutes of cardio and then one major body area.
Weights:
I work Back and Biceps on the first training day, Chest, Shoulders and Triceps on the next training day and Legs and Abs on the next. I am trying to get a routine down right now that follows the Body for Life training method.I lift 3 days a week, every other day and rotate 2 upper body workouts and one lower body.
Cardio: Eliptical, Treadmill (inclined) and Stationary Bike and I make my 20 minutes count! No fluffy workouts here.I also train Abs on my Cardio days, 3 days a week.
I stretch after my workouts.
Sometimes after our workout we walk home, depends on how patient we are feeling…the bus is SLOW (we live 2 - 2.5 miles from the gym and work…it’s about a 35 minute fast walk for me).
Home, shower and WATER and the next meal!
So, that’s basically my plan.I didn’t just jump into this…I did it slowly and built up to this.When I first started I was eating clean only…did that for a month and a half then added weight watchers…then slowly added some light cardio, mostly walking, then added some heavier cardio and then added more activity all throughout my day and now I’m working in some serious weight lifting.I want to focus more on cleaner eating and even more body sculpting with weights in 2010.
