Weigh-in and more!

Oops, I kinda forgot about blogging until today. ><>

It's been a challenging week though. I have been fighting old demons...literally fighting them. There has been a battle going on inside my head the past 3 days, probably why I lost focus and didn't blog...I wasn't in my usual frame of mind. I am happy to say however, that I won the fight this time!!! I got MAD and kicked my own ass tonight at the gym and finally pushed my cravings to the side and my bad attitude. NOTHING is going to stop me from reaching my goal and beyond. I am not ever going to go back to living the way I use to...I'd rather die to be honest.

And, on that note, my ACE Personal Training Manual arrived!!! I'm officially studying for my Personal Training Exam (hoping to take it in Dececember). I also hope to learn alot from this manual for my own journey. I live in a small town and the market here for personal trainers doesn't appear to be abundant. But, just as I did with this path I'm on now...I'll just have to forge a new one, won't I?! :)

I noticed something that really helped me take back control tonight. I did a few key things and I want to share them with you.

The first thing I did was pick out some "kick ass" music. Something with a message of strength and a sprinkling of anger. It suited my mood and need.

Then I focused. I mean REALLY focused. Every rep, every breath, every single movement was deliberate and concentrated...backed by my anger at how I have lived my life before and how it was trying to creep back in. My lazy, unfocused, wanting to fall back into old patterns, carb craving, pissy, whiney, half glass empty, crappy attitude was pissing me off!!! So, I used that anger to fuel my focus...and then...

...I became a peacock. I mean full on feathers and all! I started walking around confidently and securely. Not pompous...I hate pompous, but rather had a stride that was full of genuine pride and accomplishment. Happy accomplishment. I am proud of how far I've come and most of the time I walk around trying not to be noticed. Tonight, I walked like a peacock...and people noticed. I smiled when they looked my way and they smiled back...it was nice and it made me feel.............proud. Proud of how far I've come. And, I should walk tall and proud...besides it really makes you look thinner! ;)